I am really trying to reconcile myself to going to seminary in Pietermaritzburg. I think I am winning. But I still hope that the church will decide that it would be better to station me.
I've often wanted to live in Pietermaritzburg - but I don't think for any particularly valid reason. It's close to the sea - well, closer than Jhb - but not too humid. The parts that I have seen of it are pretty. The organisation African Enterprise is based there - and I went through a time of seriously wondering if I could not fulfil my 'call' by working for them rather than the Methodist Church.
My eldest daughter would benefit by our being in Pmb because she could study conveniently at UKZN. The whole family is keen for an adventure and to move away from Jhb. I am confident that I will not be stressed academically - I have had no problems this year with the undergraduate courses. It will be a privilege to learn from Neville Richardson and Ross Olivier. I'm not sure who else teaches there. I don't know what they will want me to do. Can they force me to do a doctorate? I'd rather do one while in circuit. Maybe I could do another honours degree. I could choose something arcane that would fascinate me. Maybe they will insist on me doing another BTh. Whatever, it will not be the centre of my life. Psychologically, I am packing the experience away into a tiny corner of my life and I will live for my family, for adventure and probably to write.
But I sense that such wrong feelings are at the root of this and I wish it could be otherwise.