Friday, November 12, 2010

Feeling Lost

The trouble with catching up and having less urgent stuff to do is that I start to feel lost. And oddly enough, inadequate. Do I really matter any more?
I know that it is just a transitional feeling. I know that I will find other things to fill up my time. But in the meantime it is an unpleasant feeling. It is also a reminder to have more in my life than just church work. Outside interests are vital. But I struggle with that - and do get too caught up with work.
Jesus never seemed to feel guilty about going off on his own . . .

2 comments:

David Barbour said...

What you share is the greatest temptation those in ministry face. To feel inadequate because we are not doing 'an honest days work'. Just yesterday I was sipping coffee with a colleague and a person came up to him and said 'Do you ever work' (Something like that). I have only in recent years got callous about my feelings in this area. I religiously take days off. I am found fly fishing in the Drakensburg every other Monday. I do not answer my phone and use other methods to deflect urgent calls. Let me not go on.. but just to say... your life with others, not your work is the cornerstone of your ministry. Here I go....

Jenny Hillebrand said...

Thanks David - I need that reminder. The seminary situation, where one feels one needs to prove oneself, is not always conducive to this attitude! But I guess that's true of any training situation.