Monday, November 08, 2010

What do I want?

People sometimes ask me what sort of church I want to be a minister in. Or where I want to go. I am asking myself what I enjoy about ministry. What breathes life into me and what breathes death. I guess when I've figured that out I'll have a better idea of where I'd like to be - one day when I am a grown up minister and may have some choice in the matter!
This is actually something I am struggling with. It could be that all things come as a mixture - preaching involves preparation, delivery and response. Most ministry is a combination of admin and people - the Brentwood preschool demands my listening presence, almost as a priority. There is a lot of admin for me because the people there just aren't sophisticated to do it - although they can see what they want. I don't much enjoy either - yet the impact that it makes when I do listen and help almost makes it worth it.
But I'm still not really getting to the nub of it. Maybe that's why we just hide the whole thing under the term 'calling'. I do it because there is the sense that this is what Jesus is asking from me. Neither enjoyment or impact is actually relevant.
Still not there . . . very much thoughts in progress for this week!

3 comments:

Thomas Scarborough said...

I wonder to what extent one can predict what will make ministry fulfilling. And if one takes the view that the Spirit has sovereignly gifted the Body, you won't need to do anything you are not gifted for.

David Barbour said...

Interesting one,
We are called to do many things we are not gifted to do. This is very often when we are starting off new ministeries etc. The greatest joy is then finding those who can carry it on. The smaller the church the more challenging. Hilton church is gaining momentum and I have leaders who are actually becoming active participants in the work. What a joy and I have realized to my shame it has also been difficult. Letting go and not being in control are challenging for those who always building things up.

Jenny Hillebrand said...

I think that maybe I will only understand this when I am a minister in a church, reading the comments. Sometimes the thought is frightening!