Thursday, June 02, 2011

Words of Calling 3

I have wrestled with this 'third word of calling' (the first two are in previous posts), trying to determine whether it expresses Jesus' desire for me or my desire for myself.
The expectations of the seminary year unfolded slowly for me this year - being one of those that it outside the main track of 'let's get a degree or diploma'. I knew I would be doing a PhD, and then I found that I would be working with Phakamisa (the pre-school teachers training project). But I couldn't see any way that I would be working in a church. preaching and doing ministry stuff. I told myself that it was ok, I would find fulfilment in the things that I had and that next year would come soon enough. I really thought that I had convinced myself, but when I was called in to talk about a church attachment I realised otherwise. At that point (and I am glad that the seminary didn't know it!) I would have been happy to be sent to the smallest, dirtiest worstest society that they could think of if I could just preach and try to grow people. This was a bit of a revelation to me, that I could feel like this. I know that I wouldn't have necessarily liked or enjoyed the experience, but if it was where God wanted me I would have been content and fufilled.
I think that is calling . . . although experienced very subjectively.
(And as it happened they sent me to Greytown, which is cool!)

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