Thursday, July 14, 2011

Denial

They chased me off the CPE course for today to 'get better from my flu' - in spite of my protest that this is not flu, it is just a cold. I got off the bed to go and fetch my kids at lunch time and realised I did feel a bit flakey. I started thinking - I never seem to get flu, only colds. Is it possible for someone to go their whole life without getting flu? Sometimes it must be flu, but I don't admit it.
I've been feeling quite depressed - someone who knows me said: you're just stressed about stationing. (Stationing means that those of us leaving seminary will be allocated to churches in the near future and we will soon know where we will be working as probationer (intern) ministers next year). No, I'm not stressed. Oh, hang on - that is certainly part of it.
Sometimes I think that I am too self-aware, at others I think I am an expert at denial. I wonder what else I'm not admitting?

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