One of my challenges in ministry is understanding what work is. I have this sense that work is busy activity and constant application with regular achievement. Much of ministry is reflective. Much is listening. Much shows little measurable reward. And so I feel guilty. When I sit back and let the Scriptures for Sunday wander around my mind trying to find formation I feel that I am not busy and not active. Yet it needs to be done, else there won't be a sermon on Sunday.
When I sit back and think about the shape of the churches and pray and wonder about what the next step needs to be in our working together, I feel lazy - I should be out doing something. Yet this sort of thinking needs to be done for me to be an effective leader.
I may have blogged before about trying to make prayer part of my work. But if I walk around my garden, or the grounds of one of the churches, praying, I feel like a fraud.
Eugene Petersen talks about the secularisation of church and I think this pressure to be active all the time is part of that. My own achievement orientated personality also spurs me on to activity and busy-ness. But I am convinced that success in the church comes from obedience to Jesus and following him. So I need to get the nature of work straight in mind.