Monday, September 16, 2013

What I do when I am watched

I found myself thinking this morning. "The bishop is back, I had better check Facebook." Generally he records his coming and going in his Facebook status and I check it so as not to be disadvantaged by others.

But this Facebook thing is really making clear to me some of the silly ways that I think and behave. I have blocked it from my PC (just by self-will) and will only use it on my phone now, because by and large it just makes me unhappy. I cannot be as busy and effective as the sum total of people that I see on Facebook. I nearly always feel guilty that there was another place I could have been on any day. And so I feel inadequate and judged by those who do all these noble things (who are not thinking of me at all, but I am thinking of me!)

I wondered, "What if the bishop and others recorded when they had just spent an hour in prayer, rather than attendance at events. Wouldn't I then be motivated to something good?"
The thing is that we really believe that we earn ourselves noddy points by being out and about and being seen, but I think that if this is called a ministry of presence we are deceiving ourselves. I know that I cannot schedule my day completely with visits and meetings because for one thing I will become exhausted very quickly and for another I will not have the time and space to handle an unplanned event such as a death or sudden illness.

Twitter is a different story to Facebook. Apart from the fact that I maybe follow too many with whom I disagree, there are not so many people trying to impress and be seen. Imagine now, that I was to tweet my whole day. Would I be willing to reveal it to the world? Would I be willing to reveal how much blank space is in my diary and how it is used? Or would I feel that I am simply revealing my laziness? Would I admit to how little time I actually spend specifically in prayer?

I need to take some serious thought over the next few weeks as to whether I really live a life that I would be willing to tweet.

3 comments:

Thomas Scarborough said...

Well said. :-)

I thought that noddy was banned. I remember the days when I couldn't wait for the little golliwog behind the label on the jam. Now I am married to someone who looks just like my little golliwog back then, but one may not use the word ...

Oh, maybe I'm supposed to comment something sensible.

Jenny Hillebrand said...

Hello Thomas, nice to hear from you. Childhood dreams fulfilled, perhaps?

Thomas Scarborough said...

Ah, yes, you've got it. :-)