Thursday, November 01, 2007


Why do images like this appeal to me? I sometimes wonder what there is inside of me. I once saw some graffiti that said 'The Damned Shall Rule'. I had that on my mind for a long time afterwards - because something about it called to me.

My spider has a home. My desk at church got upgraded from small blue plastic table to adult size modern laminated wood. It's much nicer, but I find myself struggling with conforming and acting 'normal'. Perhaps I shall reinvent myself. In fact I can feel it happening . . .

I wonder where God is going to take me?

I wonder if he'll get rid of the bleak part of me?


Denise said...

Be kind to your bleak part.

Did God take away the bleak part of Dostoyevsky? Of Flannery O'Connor? Of Paul, for that matter? Of Jeremiah?

A friend just sent a quote: vulnerability is a spiritual discipline, the discipline of refusing to change reality so that things are easier to deal with. Vulnerability is a preparedness to find and name truth. And in that is a sort of hospitality, allowing others to live truthfully the bleakness that is... I am paraphrasing.

But I feel sure there is some gift in the bleak. I'm searching for the blessing of it, too.

Be kind, kind, kind to your bleak part, and all the rest, too.

Jenny Hillebrand said...

Denise - you have no idea how much I needed a practical, encouraging comment like that! Thank you. I am challenged, in a good way.