Friday, April 04, 2008


I am struggling with how I spend my time at the moment. I know that I am by no means alone. I can get to the end of the week and I feel that I have achieved nothing! People tell me that is normal - and if I ever get to be a 'proper minister' that's how it will be. But I am not happy with it. Somehow I need to make sure that I do the things that I am needed to do - and those things are things like preaching and to some extent dreaming (or visioning). I end up supporting other people in their work (which is good) at the expense of mine (not good). And I have some very real issues that I need to work through - or perhaps areas that I need to develop in my life - before I hit the real world of phase 1 probationing.

It is so hard to pull back. To be seen as unhelpful. And besides, I like to escape from the real challenges in my life. The treadmill also takes me out of meaningful conversation with God so that I struggle even more.

But today I had time to pray. To hear God. I wish he would make things easier for me, but it helps to know that he is really there and that I'm on the right track.

I found this image while looking for pictures of hamster wheels. Someone has created a usb device that runs a motor on the wheel. The faster you type, the faster the hamster runs. I like this crazy world! Review.

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