As word comes out of the new Methodist Seminary that shows that issues are being tackled practically and realistically, I start feeling more positive about going there next year. As new student ministers in the Methodist Church who are part of a system that is undergoing major change, we have had very little knowledge of what our path to ordination was going to look like. Some of the plans seemed over-idealisistic - including the seminary.
There is also, for some reason, a general distrust of church structures.
Now I am starting be more comfortable with how the structures work. And I do believe that there will be benefits to the Methodist Church with new training system.
Part of the difficulty I have is that I spent a long time getting to grips with the idea of being a minister. It is not something that I particularly wanted to do - although aspects of the job definitely appeal to me. Having decided that this is what God wants from me, I had to persuade myself that I would be capable of running a church or working in a church as a minister. Now I want to see that happen - but I know I need to put it aside for another period of waiting. It is almost like putting the call aside, although I know there are many things that can be said about that!
But if God wrote me a letter asking me to do it, I would. I think I am starting to accept the idea of seminary. Maybe not the whole three years? I guess we will just have to wait and see.