I can't even begin to count how many Xhosa communion services I have done. Today was my first time to do communion in an English-speaking church. Immediately after that I did my second-ever communion in an Afrikaans-speaking church. Last time I had half an hour's notice that it was a communion service! I did not feel at all prepared.
I've got into a bit of a rhythm with preaching in farm churches and doing Xhosa communions. I found this morning quite stressful. I really believe that there is some force out there that does not like me and gives me a hard time. But I am learning to handle it. And learning that I need to control my mind firmly in the days leading up to the service, else negative thoughts dominate and preventing me hearing God properly.
But I got through this morning and while I wish I could have done some things better - especially in the Afrikaans service, I think God was able to do his thing.
Now I need to unwind. At home I would have gone outside and sat by the fishpond until I felt ok. It's a bit harder here. Just take things slowly. I'll go for a walk just now. Keep trusting God. Believing in myself.