I feel ridiculously human in that I think I have reached the limit of my resilience. I am just tired and demotivated and struggling to hear God at all. My head tells me that I am just tired. I'm ok enough this morning to be able to work through all the things that are discouraging me and realise that they are real, but that I am over-reacting. I realised last night that a month ago I was still in Grahamstown. In the course of that month I have had to readjust to Jhb, being with family and then to the move to Pietermaritzburg.
I am physically tired from packing and unpacking. I'm emotionally tired from adjusting to being with family again - constantly (this is a good adjustment, but it still takes effort). And I am struggling with a sense of belonging nowhere and having no roots.
And it doesn't help to know that what I am experiencing is common to all human beings! I want to feel sorry for myself and dump the burden onto someone else or perhaps run away from it all.
But I've just got to keep at it and trust that God will see me through.